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Youngistaan Ka WOW!

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This post is on a satirical note for the Youngistaan ka WOW contest on IndiBlogger. As per the contest rules, the article that gets the highest number of unique comments from fellow bloggers qualify to win the contest. So, go ahead and share your thoughts on my challenge in the form of comments (forget not to include your blog URL while commenting!). This is the contest question – If you were the game master, what challenge would you like to throw to Ranbir?

Since I am the game master, why should I be constrained with just one question? So, I am asking as many questions as possible in the rapid fire format – Why not? after all we know the fact of ‘Yeh Dil Maange More!‘. The only condition here in my game is that ‘The Pepsi Ranbir’ will qualify for my next question only upon correctly answering the current question. By the way, the answers that Ranbir/Pepsi team provide should be inline with rest of the people’s knowledge and can be answered in detail unlike just a single word similar to ‘WOW’. With that let me start my questionnaire game!

Q1 – How is pepsi manufactured?
A – We extract the ground water from various parts of our great nation where the water levels are recording the new rock bottom every day. Doesn’t really matter to us if we are hurting the farmers and their lands in those places. Then we add some more ingredients to it like Sugar and CO2 (Carbon DiOxide) to make you feel WoW upon drinking. Not to mention, the Sugar adds on free calories to make you stout/obese (provided you don’t work out) and more CO2 to ruin our environment at a faster rate… come on folks.. I have answered this from my heart, should you all be saying ‘WOW’ now?

Well done! Now your next question.

Q2 – How do you ship Pepsi to various places from the manufacturing unit?
 A – Ah, that is a very simple question, but let me give you a detailed answer so that everyone understands it better. Once the carbonated water is made available after preparation, we use different modes to bottle the drink. Our product is made available through PLASTIC bottles, glass containers, fountain vending machines and canned metal containers. Yes, though we use recyclable plastic, we do harm our environment to a lesser extent and it is not completely bio degradable like tender coconut. All these various bottling modes are then required to make use of the refrigerators to serve our drink chilled. So, we do cause enormous harm to mother earth and its atmosphere by consuming more electricity to serve you always ‘Tanda’ drink, polluting the air with CFC which in turn make holes in Ozone layer. Thus we do contribute to the greater cause of ‘Global Warming’.

WOW… that was a very nice answer. I can’t agree more! Now that you have bought up ‘Tender Coconut’ in your answer, here is the next question.

Q3 – How beneficial is to drink a Pepsi for human body?
 A – Like I have mentioned earlier, we aim to serve our drink only in chilled form across the country including places where we still have fluorinated water. We quench the thirst of Indians all over including those places where the safe drinking water is not available. We have established our market to all the remote places in such a way that our Pepsi will be available even if you don’t find drinking water. We have diet Pepsi too for all those calories conscious souls. Though we take our product quality extremely important, we have come across few bad incidents like pesticides or frog/toad remains in our product, they are very rare incidents. I suggest people not to dig too much into negative news. After all human is to err and we are not producing a drink that is direct from nature like Tender Coconut, Hence there will be few exceptions here and there. We strive for you people to say ‘WOW’ upon every sip of Pepsi.

Good one again, but I think it is incomplete.

Q4 – Can you talk about the nutritional value of Pepsi?
 A – First of all I am not a qualified nutrition or diet expert. All I can say is we want to make you ‘WOW’ for every sip of our product. My job is just to market this drink through ads since they pay me hefty. Why should I worry about all this crap when there are millions of fools out there to pay exorbitant price for our product which is nothing but sweetened and carbonated water. If you are looking for exhaustive list of vitamins, proteins and minerals like what you have in tender coconut, sorry but pepsi is no where comparable!

I am truly a fan of you for being so open with your answers. Here is the last question:

Q5 – When you are aware of all the facts about drinking soft drinks against tender coconut, why don’t you promote natural drinks?
 A – What the hell are you talking about? Do you think our ordinary farmer will be able to pay me in millions for promoting tender coconut? Pepsi sponsors cricket teams, live concert musical evenings etc., to enjoy our youth. What has tender coconut promoted in this country? More over promoting coconut tree itself is a big headache as it is completely against our policies and it is so environmental friendly that all its parts are biologically decomposable in a short span unlike our pepsi plastic bottles which can survive for centuries. Don’t you think we will be too environment conscious by supporting tender coconut? More over it is my personal opinion to support Pepsi for making money for my own life. Why should I be caring for all those profitless promos of natural drinks? You pay me better than pepsi, I don’t mind promoting anything on this damn earth. Are you expecting a ‘Padmashri Pullela Gopichand‘ out of me? Do you get that?

Wow.. you are brilliant and absolutely to the point. You win and thanks for taking part in my game!!!

PS & Disclaimer:
I don’t like any of the carbonated soft drinks irrespective of the product/company, rarely drink when left with no other option. Intent of this article is not to defame any cola company, but to make people understand the benefits of opting for natural drinks. There by promoting the Indian agricultural produce and lending my support to all those farmers to help us save our earth by spreading the green love. Think about all those marketing gimmicks to make you pay for a bottle of carbonated water at stupidly exorbitant prices. Do you think we should still go with these soft drinks and ruin our mother earth which is already getting abused to the core?

UPDATE as on 16th Apr 2010:
Pepsi has accepted the defeat by not letting my nomination get through to final list of ‘IndiBlogger of the Month’. The intent of this article is to spread the awareness of natural drinks and their benefits as against the corporate world of carbonated drinks.

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Comments

  1. Hi Mohan
    Very interesing and an eye opener. The harmful effects of artificial made drink and the immense value of naturally available tender coconut is brought out very nicely. Hope everyone realises the value of the nature. 🙂

    Reply

  2. Those of you us who know some Kannada and seen the legendary ad featuring Upendra, are bound to ask “Yellla okay…Pepsi yaakey?”

    Reply

  3. Liked this post very much. Well-written!!! This stmt ‘youngistan-ka-wow’ – I don’t understand at all. Sounds silly no? Good luck for the contest. Do treat us to tender coconut if you win.

    I like Pepsi with pizza but only after all the fizz has died down. Heehee. It just tastes like sweetened water then 😉

    Reply

    • Thanks Ro! Even I didn’t understand why they are using youngistaan, may be that they just wanted to target the youth and nothing more! Certainly a guaranteed tender coconut treat for all the commenters on this article whether I win the contest or not!

      Reply

  9. Hi Mohan,
    awesomely written man, if it can be ‘different’ and provoking…………….its gotta be Mohan’s. Loved it man! but one thing…….despite knowing all the cons….we end up sipping one of the fizz drinks….

    Reply

  10. ha ha ha ha ha …Tender coconut is my favorite drink too. I never buy but drink cola if served by someone else.

    Excellent oxymoronic contest!

    Reply

  11. So, you think switching over to natural drinks will save our earth? We have already surpassed that limit of abuse. Now all we have in hand is to face the consequences. Don’t you think so?

    Reply

    • Well, atleast that helps in going green and helping us all a step closer organic lifestyle. All we can do now is to extend the normal life span on earth..

      Reply

    • True to some extent when the future was unknown. Now that we know the consequences to face in future, better to brace up for the change or to switch over towards the better 🙂

      Reply

      • Well you never know what Future Humans would be capable of.
        Maybe they need no water :p

        Or maybe they would not be able to survive without these carbonated drinks :p

        I am not in support of you nor Pepsi. All I am saying that Pepsi that you and I know of wasn’t like this when it started. It was bad or good but people needed it.

        Decades have passed by and there is no trace of its extinction rather a global phenomenon that is taking place in the world of Media, courtesy Pepsi 😉

        BTW I like Coca Cola lol :p

        Reply

  14. That was an awesome take on the contest, but surely the company wont appreciate bad publicity. You didn’t want to win, huh? Whatever it is I liked every bit of the post.
    All the best! 🙂

    Reply

    • Doesn’t really matter Nethra. If I win – it feels good, if I don’t I would still feel great for having made many people think about the whole issues. Winning isn’t everything 🙂 Thank you!

      Reply

  16. Was never a big fan of fizzy drinks. But the the so called healthy drinks are no better.

    Fruit juices are just concentrates with added sugar, Nimbooz is hogwash.
    On a hot summery afternoon what does one drink? Even though I love tender cocnut water, but at room temperature it’s such a dampener.

    Reply

    • Absolutely… that is the reason why I said Natural drinks! Well, if you buy tender coconut in the noons, it will be at room temperature for sure. Instead you buy it early in the morning and store under shadows, it will be anytime better and consume it at your convenience. If you are outside, never buy at places where the tender coconut is directly exposed to sunlight.

      Reply

  17. A timely reminder about the ills of colas! I wish you dwelt a little more on the harmful effects of these drinks and advocated in favour of our traditional Nimbu Paani, Majjige etc! Lol. Sarcasm at its best! Loved reading it Mohan.

    Reply

    • Well, my intention here is to touch up on the surface and to let the thought process to begin on everyone’s mind. Once they dig more, I am sure they will have the better answers too 🙂

      Reply

  18. Nice post Mohan. Atleast now we should stop thinking abt soft drinks .. We should learn to spend our money which keeps us healthy not for one which makes us unhealthy.

    Reply

  19. I simply loved this post!
    This Pepsi Youngistan thing is gonna do more harm than good to the business of Pepsi…
    That will teach them not to mess with bloggers…
    I’d love to see this post to win the contest, although I don’t thing your questions will be adopted in the next ad campaign…
    Kudos for the great post. Urging all people to shift to tender coconut!
    Coconut vendors could use you as a brand ambassador!

    Reply

    • Good to see you here Saurabh, welcome!
      Doesn’t really matter if I win the contest or not, hope the message has reached to masses. That serves the purpose of the post 🙂 I don’t mind to be the coconut farmers ambassador!!!

      Reply

  20. Too good of an article Mohan! You have expressed what we all want to but never dared to do so. Excellent and enlightening article. Keep such articles coming up more often.

    Reply

  23. That’s a brilliant brilliant take on the issue. Well, don’t know bout the Pepsi…but this is one challenge Ranbir or even the game creators can’t answer even though they know all the answers.
    You win hands down here…excellent post man!

    Reply

  24. Nice post Mohan. You have raised a very pertinent topic. Beneath all that ‘fun’ and ‘coolness’ promoted by the cola companies, there are some very real issues that affect the poor and the environment in India. And I don’t think there is anything defamatory in the questions. I think you have done what every citizen would want to do : demand accountability from these cola giants. When you use a country’s resources in an unsustainable way (as they are doing), then definitely these questions will be raised. Remember the findings of the study done by Center for Science and Environment in 2003 about the pesticide / chemical content in aerated drinks? I never drink this stuff anyway. Good going!

    Reply

    • Thanks Deepa. Your words are indeed apt and need of the hour for every citizen to think about. Now that the summer is here, every alternate ad you see on the TV belongs to one or the other soft drink… major part of money that we pay to these drinks go towards their ad campaigns and mascots. Wish such huge amounts reach to our farmers!!!

      Reply

  25. AWESOME… Mohan… u’re d dream Game master 4 me… Continue ur efforts with eye-openers like these… CHEERS….

    Reply

    • Thanks for your encouraging words Soumen! Feel free to subscribe for email notification to stay tuned with new articles on this blog.

      Reply

  27. Wow Mohan!

    what a brilliant method of sticking it to the man. I feel ashamed now that i have even participated in this stupid thing. Not a lover of soft drinks too. Hail water!

    Reply

  29. Wow!!! Hats off to you for this honest post… I have not yet totally discarded the aerated drinks but you have made me think over it.. Thanks for this wonderful blog.. I dare pepsi to declare you the winner of their contest…

    Reply

    • Thanks Farida! Winning is a part of life… but not everything. Doesn’t really matter if I loose the contest, I am happy to have invoked the thought process in many!

      Reply

  30. It is on the priority list of Baba Ramdev to discard Pepsi and Coke. Your approach is in the right direction. Really impressive.

    Reply

  32. With your post in consideration, Pepsi & it’s Youngistan will no more have a “WoW” from anyone. I wish your post to win the Indiblogger contest though there is no way that you could make it to the contest by Pepsi.

    My prayers & wishes.

    Reply

    • I would be delighted if this article made every reader to think through once about our ecosystem. That is more than winning this contest for me! Thanks 🙂

      Reply

  33. I don’t agree with this. Pepsi, Cola and other Drinks generate Huge Employement and also Revenue to the governement in the form of the Tax. This will never happen with natural drinks.

    When you say about soft drinks you should also say about Pizza’s, Alchohol’s and lot of other things which are affecting us in some form.

    Reply

    • So employment opportunities along with good revenue will compensate for all the abuse on earth? I don’t see a reason why the tender coconut supply chain management would fail to create equally good employment opportunities. If nothing works out at least our farmers will have the last laugh instead of the MNC showing profit margins jump QoQ.

      Reply

  34. I am totally with you on the carbonated drinks theory. Your answers made an interesting read 🙂 Here’s to nimbu paani and nariyal ka paani! 3 cheers!

    Sharon

    Reply

  35. Hi mohan,
    I think that was a very in your face, humorous post..Pepsi sure won’t give u the award even if this is the best post 🙂
    real nice n thoughtful, must say!

    you can….or shld i be direct n say ‘must’? 🙂 visit my page
    ur comment wld be invaluable!Tx.

    Reply

    • Winning is not everything in life my friend! There is life beyond winning. I just wish the message reaches out to all those youth who are doing things like this without knowing what they are getting into. Money is not everything!!!
      Sure, I will visit your blog. Thanks for dropping by and look forward to see you more often here!

      Reply

  36. Hi Mohan,
    just back from the Hyderabad Indibloggers meet.
    Had briefly visited your site today morning, before leaving for the Indibloggers Meet.
    As garima described, it was really a memorable experience.

    The above post is great, it shows you have put in a lot of work into it.

    Reply

    • Glad you attended the Hyderabad IndiMeet. I read a couple of reviews… Look like everyone had good time out there! Good to have known you… Welcome to my blog 🙂

      Reply

  39. Wah! You’ve exposed what’s going on inside Pepsi! Ranbir would scratch his head! haha. BTW, thanks for the comment on my blog. Hope you liked my challenge for Ranbir – WOW 3 times! 😉

    Reply

  40. satire at its best…great post Mohan..

    by the way, tender coconut ice cream is one of my favourites..Natural’s ka it is one of the best ones 😛

    I may take part in this contest too..if I am; then my post will be there by tonite..do check it out (though it won’t be as amazing as yours :D)

    Reply

    • Thanks Neha!
      Damn.. how come I have missed this tender coconut ice cream stuff? Let me go and try it out today itself! Sure, look forward for your challenge.

      Reply

    • I remember reading your post on promoting natural drinks for summer sometime back. I surely know where those 3 cheers are coming from 🙂

      Reply

  43. Mohan, you deserve a standing ovation for this post! Simply mindblowing!

    This post should be published in every national newspaper and magazine to provoke the public, seriously.

    I am really impressed with the way you approached this topic. I tell you, money has become more important than nature and peace. People can cross every length to promote their stuff which is very damaging.

    If you want to use Pepsi to the fullest, utilize it as your toilet cleaner, seriously!

    Reply

  44. An eye opener- -facts presented in a very interesting manner.I remember how a famous yoga guru labeled these carbonated drinks as nothing but drinkable toilet cleaners.i do encourage my kids to go for fresh fruits and coconut water which is available in abundance in our country.Now they don’t like me for not letting them consume these drinks but i am sure sooner or later they will understand.If we stop consuming ,they will stop producing. Cheers for coming up with another great post.

    Reply

    • That is great to hear about your support for fresh fruits and tender coconut, you are doing a great job by instilling the good things into your kids as well. True, it will take a while to understand why we must constrain on such aerated drinks, never impossible though! Thank you!

      Reply

  45. This is a very interesting. Well played game master :).
    You have given such a deep perspective to the issue of colas and other aerated drinks. Yes indeed tender coconut, rooh afza, thandai, niboo pani etc are many options…. BUT i have to confess i and my daughters are big takers of this. I guess just a matter of habit….. or perhaps as the slogan goes… “ye pyas hai badi”
    But for health reasons we ought to limit our intake for sure….

    All the best! Hope u win!!

    Reply

    • Thank you Abha!
      Well, there are many alternatives like what you have mentioned. You missed the ‘LASSI’ though, my favorite during summer 🙂 Thanks for all your wishes.

      Reply

  46. I think most of us do know all these things but haven’t thought in this detail. AWESOME!!! Mohan Sir for opening our eyes and f0ood for thought!!!
    Will surely thing again if I will drink any cola avatars!!!!
    WELL DONE!!!

    Reply

    • My pleasure to bring back all the real food for thought stuff 😉 Thanks for your support, hope everyone gets to read this and act to help ourselves & mother earth. Feel free to share with your friends via social networks 🙂

      Reply

  48. This is not a WOW post but a OMG!!! post…well done Mohan!!! …you just rose to the top of ‘my favourite blog list’ with this post…each 200ml of Cola has 9 teaspoons SUGAR!

    Reply

  49. yaay… man you took all of their trade secrets… you sure you’ll not set up a pepsi plant of your own… aahahaaahahahahaa….

    best of luck….\,,/

    Reply

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